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Alcohol-Rehab-Directory.com The 12 Steps of A.A. was developed in the 1930s by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. They created Alcoholics Anonymous as a way to maintain their sobriety. Once they finally found out what worked for them, they came up with a program to help pass it on to other suffering Alcoholics.
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Alcoholics Anonymous is not just
a program on how to quit drinking, it is a program that teaches you how
to live sober.
What exactly are the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and what do they mean? I would like to start off with stating that a drug, is a drug, is a drug. Alcohol is a drug. Don't think that A.A. is just for alcoholics and you can't apply these steps if your addiction is Crack. The principles of Alcoholics Anonymous are for controlling your addictions weather they are alcohol, drugs, sex, pornography, gambling, etc... You will never be completely "cured" of your addictions, but similar to diabetes, you can control it and keep it from killing you. So, what are the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and what do they mean? Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. The first 3 steps are the very foundation on which the A.A. program is based on. It is hard really, to say one step is more important than another. A general observation would be that the most important step is the one you are working on this moment, or the one you NEED to be working on. That being said, Step 1 is just that, STEP 1. If you can not admit that you are powerless over alcohol, then you will still think that you can control it. If you think you can control it, you won't ask for help or truly accept the help that is offered to you. Until you can truly accept that you are powerless over alcohol you will continue to battle your addiction on your own, thinking you just need to use more "will power". And you will undoubtedly FAIL! The second part of Step 1 really has to do with the first part. If your life has not become unmanageable, then how are you going to truly accept that you are powerless over alcohol? If you are managing your life just fine, then you are in control, not alcohol or drugs. As a general rule, an alcoholic has to hit his "rock bottom". Ultimately, this is his breaking point. This is the point where things get so bad that he basically feels he is left with two options. Surrender or die. Unfortunately, sometimes the alcoholic will look at death as being a lot better choice then the life they know. If the alcoholic chooses to surrender and admit he is powerless over alcohol and that his life has become unmanageable, then he can start laying the ground work towards recovery.
The second step is a lot more complex then you might imagine. The problem is that so many people read or hear this and say "Ok, fine. Higher Power." And they move on and try to start the next step. You actually have to BELIEVE that there is a Higher Power, and you have to BELIEVE that Higher Power can restore you to sanity. This does not happen right away. Either 1. the alcoholic doesn't believe in God, or what he/she feels your idea of God is. Or, 2. the alcoholic who thinks they have a good understanding of God, has during his drinking, turned his back to God. Step 2 is not a step you can simply think about for 5 minutes and check it off your list (none of the steps are). This step is more about believing as much as you are able to. The longer you are in the A.A. program, the more you will be able to grow and your beliefs will deepen. Things that used to be unclear to you become clear. It is very similar to a tree, as the tree grows, the roots grow deeper and deeper. The first 3 steps of A.A. are your roots. These are your foundation for growth. Truly believing that a "Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" is a very daunting task to most alcoholics. By the time they hit their "rock bottom", they usually have long since given up on any hope that there is a God. They have certainly given up any chance of Devine intervention pulling them out of the gutter. This is such a huge hurdle for the alcoholic, to actually BELIEVE that a Power greater then them can restore them to sanity. It's one thing to say it, it is another thing altogether to believe it. This is why this step is a process. It won't happen overnight. We believe in "spiritual progress, not perfection". As long as the alcoholic makes an effort to understand, they are on the right path.
The third step is also a lot more complex then one might initially think. Typically it takes a few months before you are truly ready to achieve this step. Although, almost every alcoholic that has joined Alcoholics Anonymous believes they have finished this step the first day they tried to follow the program. You have to REALLY accept the first two steps before you can honestly work this step. If the alcoholic hasn't admitted they are powerless over alcohol, and their life has become unmanageable, If they haven't truly come to believe that God could restore us to sanity, then how in the world is the alcoholic going to "make a decision to turn their will and lives over to the care of God"? This step is specifically about making an honest decision. With an honest decision there has to also be a commitment to make an effort to achieve that goal. This is kind of like when you make a new year's resolution to go on a diet and 3 weeks later you have gained 5 pounds. Step 3 is not about making some half assed decision about something. You either do it or you don't. If you really make an honest decision to lose 10 pounds, you are also making a commitment to do what it takes to lose those 10 pounds. If that is truly the case and you made an honest decision to lose the weight and you made a honest commitment to lose the weight, then you will undoubtedly lose the 10 pounds. If you don't lose the weight, then you really didn't make an honest decision to do so, did you? In Step 2, we came to believe that a Power greater then ourselves could restore us to sanity. Now it's time to allow God to do so. We need to start understanding that it is "God's will", and not "our will" that we need to live by. We tried it our way, and it didn't work out too well, now it's time to try God's way. If the alcoholic has given the first 2 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous an honest effort, then they should be ready to turn their life over to God. When the alcoholic was managing his own life, he didn't do a very good job of it. Now it's time to turn it over to the Pro.
Using the tree metaphor, this is like looking at the tree and pruning and cutting off the dead branches. This is where we start the healing process. When an alcoholic or drug addict thinks about something they "can't believe they have done", they drink or use to cope with the depression and guilt associated with remorse. We need to get past the remorse of what we have done in the past. "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves". This doesn't say "make a list of all the bad things you have done" it says make a moral inventory. Unfortunately, as we make a list of what we have done, we alcoholics and addicts tend to have a lot more bad then good. The term "searching" is important because it doesn't allow you to simply ponder for a few minutes or hours and come up with your list. You have to actually search your recollection, you need to dig deep, deep down into those things that you have buried in the far reaches of your mind. I believe the term "fearless" to be important on several different levels. Ultimately, you need to have faith that this is part of a healing process and not a hurting process. "You can live in fear or you can live in faith, but you can't live in both". It is hard, when you are making an honest effort to better your life and become a better person, to look back at the horrible things that you have done. But this is necessary if we want to continue the healing process. It is important to recognize the nature of our wrongs and accept that they were bad choices we made. We need to be able to accept that all we have done, good or bad, has led us to where we are now. We do not want to regret the terrible things we have done in the past, we just don't want to repeat them. We need to learn from them.
Make no mistake about it, this is a very difficult step. There have been countless relapses as a result of preparing for or putting off step 5. But, I would say that they weren't really ready to start the fifth step in the first place. This step is about humility. "When it comes to ego deflation, few steps are harder to take than Step 5. But scarcely any step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one". (12 & 12, World Services, Inc.) In our workings of Step 4, we tend to conveniently come down with amnesia as it pertains to the real instances in our past that cause us distress and great humiliation. We somehow "overlooked" the very instances that caused us the most pain and we swore would never speak of again. In our quest for serenity, we cannot live alone with these skeletons in our closet. We must truly clean house and try to get rid of the horrible sense of isolation we have always had. We can start to achieve this by discussing ourselves, and be willing to take advice and accept direction that is given to us by someone that has walked the path that we would like to follow. These discussions need to take place with a trustworthy and understanding person. Someone who you can truly confide in, being completely open and honest, holding nothing back. This person needs to be able to interact with a certain amount of authority on your situation. Many have asked "why do I need to admit my wrongdoings to God, myself, and another human being?" Long story short, the reason we admit the nature of our wrongs to God, ourselves, and another human, is it keeps us honest. When we admit something out loud to another person it almost validates that we were honest with our self assessment and honest in our discussions with God. Until we say out loud to another human being everything we have done, it is theoretical weather or not we have been completely honest with ourselves and with God. We can receive direct feedback and comments from somebody other than ourselves. The idea is that this person will have some idea if we are holding back. Upon working Step 5, we begin to get the sense that we could truly be forgiven for those things that we have done. Once we realize we can be forgiven, we can start to forgive others. Using the tree metaphor, this is where we start going from the roots to the trunk of the tree. We alcoholics are used to wallowing in our self pity. We like to use our character defect as a defense mechanism to keep the pain of the "real world" at bay. Letting go of these character defects means we won't have excuses any more. If we are truly ready to have God remove these defects of character, then that means we will have to make a conscious effort to "better ourselves" and do what we know to be the right thing and not walk that path of self destruction. In Step 4, we found and identified our character defects and in Step 5 we admitted our defects of character to God, ourselves, and another human being. Now in Step 6, we strive to become "entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. What exactly does that mean? Step 6 is not really about asking God to remove our character defects, but about being "willing" and "entirely ready" to have God remove these defects of character when we do ask. We all have character flaws that are blatantly obvious. The ones that we absolutely know we need to remove. But every alcoholic also has character defects that we are just not ready to give up, that we hold on to for dear life. Throughout the years we have rationalized these into being harmless, or perfectly acceptable. But if we truly did a "searching and fearless" moral inventory, than we have uncovered these defects of character and recognize them for what they truly are. Once we can honestly say that we are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, then we will truly be ready to ask God to do so. But it is important to remember that this is a good example of progress and not perfection.
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